Work to build a lasting relationship, rather than just close a deal
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One of the most important endeavors for our professional success is also one of the most confusing and daunting for so many. That endeavor is "networking up" – connecting in a meaningful and memorable way with those who are at a higher level of success or whose influence and connection could potentially change everything for your business.
“Whether it’s with a celebrity CEO or just someone who is more successful than you, ‘networking up’ can be a nerve-racking and delicate maneuver,” said Ivan Misner, founder of BNI.com, the world’s largest business networking organization — who CNN called “the Father of Modern Networking.” Considered one of the world’s leading experts on business networking, Misner is the author of several bestselling books and was also named Humanitarian of the Year by the Red Cross.
Misner shared his insights and strategies for mingling above your weight class in business, and why you need to.
1. Hang out where successful people are.
We are all at a different place in our career, so start by assessing where you are and then determine where you can go to “network up.” When I was new in business, that meant joining a local service club like Rotary, Lions, or Kiwanis. Organizations like the Chamber of Commerce and BNI are also excellent ways to start networking up. Later, I added boards of nonprofit organizations and charities to my list. Many successful people play in these arenas.
2. Embrace discomfort.
If you’re not uncomfortable connecting with someone, then you’re not aiming high enough.
I’ve been there. I understand this feeling. However, you need to get past that and go talk to them. Your discomfort may be a sign that this is the exact person you should be talking to.
3. Don’t sell or pitch to them!
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve met someone for the first time and they start “selling to me.” I’ve seen the same thing when I’ve been with other business people far more successful than I am. The old adage "It never hurts to ask, right?” is completely wrong when you are networking up with someone for the first time. A lot of people do it – don’t be one of the crowd.
4. Don’t go negative.
I know that sounds obvious, but it happens all the time, especially if you’re nervous. Don’t complain about how busy you are, how the barista messed up your coffee order, or how bad the traffic is. You want to be remembered, but not as the person who is always negative.
5. Don’t be a sycophant.
There are plenty of people to flatter them, so don’t “puppy-dog lick them” to death. Successful people are, however, still people, and they appreciate knowing their work makes a difference. I have found that if I share a specific story about how their work or business has really helped someone in some way, rather than gush over how genius they are.
6. Work within the context.
If at all possible, find a way to connect what is happening at the moment to something interesting in your discussion or setting. For example, when I met Jack Canfield (Chicken Soup for the Soul) for the first time, it was at a book signing for speakers. The problem was that the audience was still at dinner, and no one was at the signing! So I shared a story with him about a book signing I did where the only person who showed up was my mother. She acted like she was a fan and made such a big deal at the signing that people started crowding around my table. It was an incredible embarrassment that turned into a huge success. He laughed so hard that it helped him remember me well enough to invite me to join his personal network called the Transformational Leadership Council more than ten years ago.
7. Find out what they’re currently interested in.
If you know someone you want to 'network up' with is going to be at an event, do some internet research to find out what they are currently working on, then open up your discussion by asking them to tell you about it. If you haven’t done the research – ask them what their newest project is or what they are most excited about.
8. Add value.
This is the most important item. If you can find a way to add value, you’ll be remembered.
For example, the last time I had the opportunity to talk to Richard Branson, I asked him about his latest endeavor at the time – The “B Team” or the Business Team. When I asked him about it, he was pretty excited with the program. I asked him how I could help him with it. While he was thinking, I asked if it would be of value to him if we did a short video interview so that he could share the program with my audience. He loved the idea, and we shot the video about the B Team program for my blog.
9. Don’t assume they remember you.
If you’re meeting someone you're 'networking up' with for the second or third time, always help them out by giving them context on how you know each other or met. This context helps them jog their memory. If you meet them in person, give them a reminder of where you met. For example, when I am networking up with an email communication, I’ll send a copy of a photo of the two of us from the event where we met.
Finally, remember that if you’re always the most successful person in the room, you’re hanging out in the wrong rooms.
Kathy Caprino, M.A. is an international career and personal growth coach, writer, speaker and leadership developer dedicated to the helping professionals build happier, braver lives and careers. The author of Breakdown, Breakthrough, and founder of Ellia Communications, Inc., the Amazing Career Project and Amazing Career Certification training for coaches, she is also a leading contributor on Forbes, Thrive Global, and LinkedIn, a TEDx speaker, and top media source on career and personal growth, leadership, and women's issues. For more info, visit kathycaprino.com and connect with Kathy on Twitter, Facebook, LinkedIn and YouTube.
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