It came after her IVF struggle

Having worked in the mortgage business for nearly 30 years, Sarah Hartwell (pictured) has faced plenty of challenges over her career and showed her enduring work ethic. But, it was the post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) she suffered after struggling to become a mother that rendered her unable to work.
Hartwell’s experience led her to do much soul-searching on how best to cope with mental health problems - now she is calling on others in the industry to be honest about their own issues and to talk to their employers.
During her career, Hartwell has worked as a broker for Countrywide Financial Services, and a business development manager for Northern Rock and Nationwide Building Society, as well as in managerial roles for The Mortgage Lender and Foundation Home Loans. Today she is national account manager for Property Circle.
She suffered post-traumatic stress disorder in 2014 following six failed attempts at IVF, in addition to a miscarriage, and her mental health was impacted too from thyroid problems she had around the same time.
“The emotional and physical toll of IVF, compounded by the impact on mental health and professional life, was an incredibly tough journey,” Hartwell said. “I’ve always been someone who cares about how others perceive me, but when it comes to mental health, that concern fades into the background.
“Talking openly about mental health is something I feel deeply compelled to do - not for myself, but for others who might be struggling. I want people to know they are not alone, that mental health challenges can happen to any of us, and, most importantly, that there is help available.
“What I would say to anybody is that you have to be truthful and let your work know because as much as you think that you’re doing your job normally, you won’t be, because nobody is capable of carrying that much anxiety, depression and be able to do the job to their ability. And people need to understand that. It’s really, really important to tell your boss the truth, I think.”
She added: “I’m very good out in public, I think I always have a smile on my face. I do have such a good sense of humour, but a lot of the time that has been a mask. Masking is a really, really bad thing, because you’re not dealing with the problem, and as you are not dealing with the problem, it’s only come bigger and bigger and bigger. We have to know our own limitations and ask for help.”
Hartwell describes herself as someone who wears her heart on her sleeve and worries a lot – “not a good combination”, she jokes. One of the hardest aspects of being unwell was being unable to go to work, which in turn made her more upset and stressed.
“I think you have to recognise the resilience it takes to return to work, even in phases, and to navigate such profound emotions while managing professional expectations,” she said. “Recovery for me, wasn’t just about getting back on my feet and returning to work, it was about finding a way to live with something that will always be a part of you.”
Read more: Do you really listen as a mortgage broker?
Self-care matters for good mental health
Hartwell and her partner have since successfully adopted a much-loved little girl. She now routinely prioritises her own self-care to ensure that she – in her words - “remains strong” for her daughter. She took a pay cut of around half her salary, now working three days a week, after she felt she was on ‘a hamster wheel’, trying to juggle her work and parental responsibilities. “You have to do what’s right for you, and you have to do what’s right for your child,” she said, “because if the tank is only half full, you’re no good to that child either in that situation. I think everyone suffers from mum guilt.”
A course of Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing (EMDR) therapy is considered by Hartwell to have been a turning point in her recovery. EMDR is a recognised mental health treatment technique that can help with the processing and recovery from past traumatic experiences. She believes that mental health needs to be recognised and treated with the same urgency and understanding as any physical illness. “Unfortunately, not everyone sees it that way yet, and that’s why I will continue to speak out,” Hartwell explained. “If sharing my own experience can help even one person feel less isolated, then it’s worth it - and if it helps more, that’s even better.”
Hartwell recently participated in a YouTube video interview with the sector initiative Mortgage Industry Health Charter, whose ‘Keeping the Mental Health Conversation Going’ series provides a platform to share insights and strategies for promoting best practice and wellbeing in the workplace.