Building emotional intelligence pulls broker out of rut

The owner of a brokerage tells what steps she took when she lost confidence in her skills

Building emotional intelligence pulls broker out of rut

After successfully running her own brokerage Two Red Shoes for many years, Rebecca Jarret-Dalton suddenly found herself in a rut a few months back and couldn’t break free.

“I knew something was missing,” Jarret-Dalton told MPA. “I lacked confidence in my own skill set and lacked the ability to reflect on my achievements and to acknowledge my gains. I lacked the confidence to step forward.”

Jarret-Dalton got out of the hole she’s in by doing a series of one-on-one sessions with Daniel Tolson and by joining his group trainings on emotional quotient. Tolson is a known business coach who specialises in emotional intelligence and strategic planning.

Empathy on steroid
For Jarret-Dalton, emotional quotient comes in three components: knowledge of self, knowledge of others (sensory acuity) and self-regulation. Her emotional quotient in two of the components, she can categorically say based on customer feedback surveys, is well above population average.

“Knowing myself has also allowed me to know my limitations and my strengths, and this underpins confident decisions,” Jarret-Dalton said. "I've always been naturally empathic, and the EQ training served as a massive enhancement to this…it’s like empathy on steroids."

She has always been aware that she perceives some of her clients’ responses differently. Through Tolson’s training, Jarret-Dalton developed her emotional intelligence to the point that she can “hear what is not being said” and determine the real needs of her clients and those around her.

“When I ask my clients, “How does that sound?”, reading their faces exposes the truth about their situation,” Jarret-Dalton said. “I’m also beginning to learn eye patterns to detect lies or avoidance which will ultimately help me detect fraud.”

No plan B
In his evaluation on Jarret-Dalton, Tolson said the broker has been able to “develop the ability to make decisions and act boldly in the face of setbacks and adversity. “The mortgage market has never been so volatile. It has never seen so much competition locally and nationally, yet Bec is growing rapidly whilst some are in decline,” he said.

Over the years, Tolson added, Jarret-Dalton has followed the principle of “jump and the net will appear.” She puts her plans together, trust her gut instincts, then throws herself wholeheartedly at the challenge. For Jarret-Dalton, there is no plan B. If there is one, it sabotages success within ten minutes. She’s daring but scared at times, he said.

According to Tolson, the fear of failure and criticism are the two greatest obstacles to success and personal effectiveness. Both fears “crush 99% of the population’s success potential.” He said Jarret-Dalton knows that in order to succeed, she needs to express her own opinion.

“Bec will tell you straight to the heart how the situation is, and you can be guaranteed she has the facts to back it up. She says it politely, but she won't sugar coat it,” Tolson added. “That’s why she’s a strategic leader.”

Relaxed and serene
Under Tolson’s guidance, Jarret-Dalton is now able to make complex decisions with greater confidence. She saw her business grow by 50% and took on a part-time staff member. She will further strengthen her workforce by employing another broker this year.

“I feel more relaxed and serene in terms of reflecting upon myself and my outlook is definitely more confident,” Jarret-Dalton said.

“I have also won two awards.”