How to handle difficult conversations

As the figurative ‘meat in the sandwich’, brokers face the challenge of keeping both clients and lenders happy – sometimes in trying situations. Conversation experts Hugh Gyton and Tracey Ward explain how you can keep all your relationships positive.

PREVENTION - THE BEST MEDICINE

The best way to deal with a difficult situation, says Ward, is not to let them happen in the first place.

This means making a conscious effort to understand the point of view of the other party, she says.

“If you’re looking at lenders then it’s finding out how they like to operate; what are the priorities for them. All of them will operate slightly differently and have a slightly different preference so it’s getting to know what those are and it’s also getting to know the lenders as individuals.”

While it’s easy to adopt an ‘us and them’ mentality, finding common ground will help to build a friendly relationship that will prevent difficult conversations from occurring.

“If you can add up a quantity of similarities you’ll connect a lot more with that person, therefore it makes it much easier if you want to get a loan processed quickly if you’ve already got that relationship.”

By making regular calls and attending industry functions, brokers are presented with good opportunities to ask lender representatives what brokers can do to make the bank's job easier, while simultaneously communicating their own preferences.

Making the effort to do this in quiet times will ensure busy periods are smoother, says Gyton. While this may not be possible to achieve with all lenders, brokers can make an effort with those they deal with most frequently.

But Ward stresses that having one key contact in each organisation is not enough, and brokers should aim to have three to four strong relationships with each provider.

“The last thing you want is to that person’s off sick or they go on holiday or get another job and you can’t get your loans processed quickly and you’re starting from square one.”

On the other side of the coin, difficult conversations with clients can be avoided through effective management of expectations, says Ward.

“Set up their expectations as to how this works so that they understand there is an increase in the regulation and tightness of loans. Everyone has heard of the GFC; get them to understand how that affects them getting a mortgage on their home.”

Be upfront to clients about the information you need and why you’ll need it says Ward, and be honest about timelines.

“Just keeping you in the loop makes a really big difference as to how you feel about the process. You’re desperate to buy a house and don’t want to miss that deal, so if you feel that the mortgage broker understands that and keeps you updated, even if they’ve got no news, that’s going to avoid those difficult conversations.”

SOME BROKERS DO HAVE ‘EM

Unfortunately, however, everything doesn’t always go according to the text book.

When you are confronted with a difficult situation, or you suspect one might be about to occur, the first step is to confront it, say Gyton and Ward.

The best way to do this is face to face, but failing that a phone conversation will do – even if the other party began the conversation via email.

“We quite like hiding behind email, it feels safer and easier, but if we’re not careful all we’re doing is contributing to their frustration," says Gyton.

"Nine times out of ten I’m sure clients would respond very positively if they’ve sent a stroppy email to you saying 'Where the hell's my money' and you've picked up the phone and said 'I appreciate that you need to get this processed, let me bring you up to speed with exactly where we are'. It comes across so much better if we’ve had the courage to pick up the phone and talk to them."

Brokers should first understand their emotions around the conversation, as well as any ways that they may have contributed to the situation, and then be upfront about these with the lender representative or client, he says.

“Fess up to the lender at the beginning and say ‘Look mate, we’ve had a great relationship for several years and what I don’t want to do is to stuff this up… what I do need to do is have a chat to you about how we work together.”

It’s important to understand that each party involved in the situation has their own version of events – and each one of these is correct. If you get the feeling a client or lender may be frustrated about a situation, pick the phone up and ask politely for clarification, says Ward.

“You can just say ‘I wasn’t sure how you felt about XYZ and wanted to make sure that I’d communicated everything OK and you had no questions’. It’s far better to do that than to discover they’ve gone off to another mortgage broker.”

Using visual tools also helps to separate the issue from the relationship, takes emotion out of the argument and shifts the focus to factual information, says Gyton.

For example, if you’re able to provide clients with a flowchart of the mortgage process, this will allow you to refer to this if they become anxious about the amount of time a loan is taking, and adds credibility to your reassurances that steps will occur within the timeframe you indicated earlier.

AND IF IT STILL GOES WRONG?

Even if you do everything right, it’s possible you will still get objections or emotionally-charged clients or lenders.

In this case, Ward and Gyton suggest following the process of CURE: Cushion, Understand, Respond, Engage.

Cushion:

The first step is to get the other person into a mind-set where they can communicate calmly and be open to your response, says Ward.

“Cushion the emotion for them and allow them to feel legitimate in their feeling. The worst thing you can do is to get cross with them… you need to acknowledge they have a right to feel how they’re feeling. Say ‘I can absolutely appreciate’ or ‘I can understand why you must be feeling like that.”

Understand:

This is the step that’s often skipped, says Ward, as people tend to assume they know what the other person is upset about without really trying to understand the underlying issues.

“The words that they’re saying might not be what it’s really all about, there might be some other pressure on them we’re not aware of,” says Gyton.

A client who is upset about the amount of time a loan is taking, even after you’ve explained the process and reasoning to them, may really be nervous that the loan won’t go through, or perhaps still don’t completely understand the process. Take the time to find out what the problem really is, and you’ll be able to reassure them in a more productive way.

Respond:

This is where you can work towards resolving the issue – ideally face to face – only after the first two steps have been completed.

Engage:

This is a verification that you have truly addressed all of their concerns, says Gyton. Ask the other party if they’ve been reassured, if they feel comfortable and if there is anything else that you can do for them.

By following this process, brokers can maintain positive relationships with clients, BDMs, credit reps and any other professional contacts, while still getting the results they want, say Ward and Gyton.

Through Speaking, Training & Coaching, Hugh Gyton & Associates Entertain | Educate | Empower their clients to have REAL Conversations so they Connect More | Deliver More | Engage More.  See them in action at www.hughgyton.tv or visit www.hughgyton.com