How to make it a successful experience
Too much work and not enough time make it tempting for many to dine 'al desko', but brown bagging it as a means of mixing work with food has yet to usurp the all-important business lunch. MPA chews the fat with the etiquette experts to find out how to make it a successful experience
What could be more simple than eating and chatting with clients or associates? One can only assume that these tasks are performed separately with equal success on a daily basis - we eat, we talk - piece of cake, right? But anyone who has ever had the misfortune of spotting spinach in their client's teeth or taken their vegetarian boss to a steakhouse knows it is not always easy to mix business with pleasure.
Breaking bread
With so many things that could possibly go wrong, one wonders why we do it at all. According to personal image consultant Sue Currie, business lunches are pivotal to building personal relations.
"I think one of the things that most people need to realise is it's not necessarily about doing business," she says. "It's about breaking down some of those barriers."
As the director of Shine Communications Consultancy, Currie has been conducting workshops on personal branding and media skills for four years.
"There certainly has been quite a large demand for these courses from the corporate environment," she says. "There's always a need for soft skills training, but I don't like to call them that, I like to call them 'core skills'."
With time being a scarce commodity, the business lunch has become a less frequent event. While some of Currie's clients may be a little rusty on their soft/core skills, a good number are university graduates learning how to hone them.
"I think the younger generation aren't as aware of the rules of etiquette as the older generation," she says. "I simply think that it's because it hasn't been drilled into them as much as the Baby Boomer generation. But I think Gen Y really wants to know, they do embrace it; they're good learners."
So when does a business lunch leave a bad taste in diners' mouths? The following subtle tips can make business lunches a savoury experience for everyone.
Location, location, location
Currie suggests picking a restaurant that is located close to your guest's home or workplace.
"That would be the main consideration, so they don't have to travel too much of a distance. Or if it's somewhere new and popular, you can suggest, 'I'd like to take you to this place, do you have the time to do that?'"
In selecting a venue, one should also consider the tastes of their luncheon partner. Seafood restaurants are obviously a bad choice for someone with shellfish allergies, likewise vegetarians probably will not appreciate going to a steakhouse.
Also think about the ambience of the restaurant. Sports bars can be too distracting and cafes too loud. On the other hand, nobody likes to go somewhere too quiet, lest everyone overhears your conversation. When choosing a seat inside the restaurant, try to stay away from the washrooms and front doors, and always give your guest the best spot at the table, facing the view or towards the inside of the restaurant.
Pick a restaurant that has good service, quality food and comes well recommended by multiple sources - friends, colleagues and restaurant surveys such as Zagat's.
Shop talk
According to Currie, the biggest mistake people make at a business lunch is to talk all business.
This is your chance to engage in personal conversation. If the client/business partner has come to you by referral, this is your opportunity to show them that not only are you a professional, you are a pretty decent person as well.
Good openers depend on how well you know the person. If it is someone you have met before, try to pick up on something they have previously mentioned - for example, ask if they have been surfing much recently, how the kids are doing or how their cricket match went. (If you are really stuck for a conversation starter, apparently it is a safe bet to ask someone how their back is. Chiropractors claim that almost 80% of the general population experiences back pain from time to time.)
Of course, however, the event is called a 'business lunch' and people expect to discuss some professional topics.
"I think an ideal time would be just after you've ordered your meal or perhaps just after an appetizer," suggests Currie.
Experts suggest scheduling about an hour and a half for the total experience. One hour can be too rushed, and any more than that can be too time consuming.
As for mobile phones, not everyone will be impressed with your Dukes of Hazzard ring tone. Not only should it be on silent mode, it should be out of sight.
"When you're with a client, they're the most important person. If you've got your BlackBerry or your mobile on, it's interrupting the interaction with that person - so turn it off." Currie explains.
Currie says that if you are expecting an important call, let the person know and apologise.
And while on the topic of talking at the table, a poll conducted by US advertising and marketing firm The Creative Group found that being rude to a restaurant employee is the number one mistake you can make at a business lunch.
Consumption
It goes without saying that drinking too much should be avoided. But a little alcohol can help relax both parties and get the conversation flowing. It is also an opportunity for either party to show off their knowledge of wine, beer or spirits.
Visitors to Japan often make the mistake of finishing their glass and trying to refuse subsequent refills - usually without success. In Japanese culture it is considered proper for members of the party to leave their glass full when they wish to stop drinking. That way, the host feels like they have not left any of their guests unfulfilled.
Although this practice seems counter-intuitive to Australians, it is not a bad custom to keep in mind, particularly at large banquets or functions where servers fill up your glass every time you set it down. On these occasions, it is very easy to forget how much you have consumed.
The choice of food is also important. If it is a large group, choose a couple entrees that can easily be shared, such as oysters.
As for the main course, stay away from spaghetti, crab claws and sushi rolls that are bigger than your mouth.
Denouement
The rule is: the host pays.
"The client is the important person and you may potentially be doing business with that person, so if you're inviting somebody else out, you should pay," Currie says.
The rule also extends to coffee meetings, Currie adds, citing a personal experience as an example: "At the end of coffee, they said: 'Let's split the bill.' It was only a cup of coffee, but that obviously formed an impression in my mind about what it would be like to do business with this person. It's just those little things; they set the standards with how you are in business."
A good way to avoid the whole issue (no, MPA does not promote the 'dine and dash') is to excuse yourself before the bill arrives and settle it discreetly, or give your credit card to the wait staff at the beginning of the meal and just sign off at the end.
Manner quiz
You thought you knew all the rules... but these questions will test even the most well-mannered diners.
- 1. Who should descend a staircase at a restaurant first?
- 2. Where should you place your napkin when you leave for the washroom?
- 3. Which way should the fork tines face when 'resting' during the meal?
- 4. If your plate was a clock, what time would your utensils say it was when you finished your meal?
- 5. Your guest asks for pepper, what do you do?
- 6. Which way should you spoon your soup?
- 7. Which hand should you hold your drink in?
Answers
- 1 Although this seems particularly dated, manners gurus recommend men descend first. The reasoning is that should a woman trip and fall, the man can catch her.
- 2 On your chair or to the right of your plate.
- 3 Crossed on your plate with the fork tines down.
- 4 11 o'clock.
- 5 Pass the pepper of course. But good etiquette says you always pass the pepper and salt together.
- 6 Away from you and always sip from the side of the spoon.
- 7 Your left.
Etymology
In the Netherlands, it is common to pay separately when dining with a group, hence the term 'to go Dutch'. It is thought that the term gained popularity during the Anglo-Dutch Wars in the mid-1600s, in an attempt to paint Dutch people as being cheap. Several other phrases intended to propagate negative stereotypes about Dutch people also arose from British antagonism, such as 'Dutch courage', 'Dutch uncle' and 'Dutch wife'.
