Far Out Friday: Lamest sick day excuses

by MPA21 Mar 2014
One of the benefits of being self-employed, as so many producers are, is that you don’t have to fake a feeble 'pneumonia voice' to your boss on the phone while a football game blares in the background. On the other hand, you don’t have the luxury of getting some other poor sap to do your job when you really do eat some questionable poultry and come down with a sudden, debilitating bout of salmonella.

Either way, employers in every industry get their fair share of ‘sick’ day excuses from people who really just want some quality time with their golf clubs and, as a recent study conducted by recruitment website CareerBuilder.com found out, those excuses can sometimes be pretty hilarious.

Below, we’ve compiled some of the more bizarre anecdotes on the list, as well as a few other numbers from various far-flung corners of the internet. All are reportedly real-life scenarios (number five was even used by someone at our own company). If you've got another example to add to the list, make sure and write it in the comment box below.

Top 20 lamest sick day excuses ever:
20. Employee's dog was having a nervous breakdown
19. Employee's dead grandmother was being exhumed for a police investigation
18. Employee was bitten by a bird
17. Employee was upset after watching The Hunger Games
16. Employee got sick from reading too much
15. Employee's hair turned orange from dying her hair at home
14. Employee dropped a can of baked beans on his toe
13. Employee swam too fast and knocked his head on the poolside
12. Employee’s hamster died
11. Employee was hallucinating
10.Employee’s new girlfriend bit him in a ‘delicate’ place
9. Employee’s toe was trapped in the bathtub tap
8. Employee drank too much and fell asleep on a stranger’s floor: ‘I don’t know where I am’
7. Employee had a sore finger
6. Employee’s pants split on the way to work
5. Employee electrocuted herself with a hair straightener
4. Employee’s dog ate his shoes
3. Employee's fish wasn't feeling well
2. Employee forgot he had been hired for the job
1. Employee's mom had died (this was the second time the employee had used this excuse)
 

COMMENTS

  • by Bill Elliott | 3/21/2014 12:19:04 PM

    I can't say that Nr. 14 is really lame because when I was in the service, one of my colleagues actually dropped a jar of peanut butter on his toe and ended up with blood poisoning. Also, I personally can identify with Nr. 6 on two separate occasions. One was when I was helping to move some furniture and bent over to pick up a heavy piece, my pants split and I had to run to the closest Wal-Mart to buy a pair of Dickies to complete the job. On other occasions, while drinking a cup of coffee in my car on the way to work, I spilled the coffee on my clothes and had to go back to change.

  • by Deb F | 3/21/2014 3:41:25 PM

    I had to call in one day stating that I was on my back massager too long and it pushed out so many toxins that it made me physically ill....this has happened more than once with a massage.

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